27Jun

Just one more thing before you leave… Don’t forget to remember me.

FILED IN Ecstasy MB Blog-a-thon | Life No Comments

I was talking to Tanya yesterday on AIM and she said something that struck me odd. She told me she was was going to have a small wedding because she doesn’t feel close to half of the people she used to know. I asked her why that was and she said it’s a sign that she hasn’t been invited to anything (i.e. weddings) and no one makes an effort to talk to her so why should she? I wanted to respond back something to the extent of: well, there’s your answer why you’re not invited – you don’t make an effort yourself so why should others? I didn’t because I know in her own way she does try and does seem to get rejected often.

But then I realized the opposite is true in my case…I do try and I feel as if I’m getting rejected by the ones I call my friends. I have barely talked to 3 of my closest friends in two months because they’re so wrapped up in their boyfriends (or husband as the case may be) that I feel like I’m just an afterthought. I don’t expect to talk to them 2 hours a day, 14 hours a week (as Lina’s friend expects of her) but I would like to hear from them more once a month or so and maybe actually see them once in awhile . I seem to find out what’s going on in their lives based on their Facebook statuses rather than them actually talking to me. I know I’ve been playing phone tag with one of them so it’s not as if I’m completely forgotten but I’d like to see sometimes more of an effort than me trying to do it all the time. And then there’s my best friend who I either hear from her on a regular basis and then she doesn’t call me for a month or two. I’ve given up calling her – at this point if she wants to talk, she can call me. Cold maybe. I spent 6 months in college calling her on a regular basis begging her to talk to me and just tell me what’s wrong with her and she wouldn’t answer my calls. I won’t go down that road again. Most of my closest college friends I barely hear from either and I know they’re really busy and wrapped up in work and life but it would nice to hear from them once in awhile.

I feel like I’ve very few friends that I can really talk to right now about anything that I trust or just spend time with. There’s Jon. But what happens when I want to talk about my doofusface to someone else or need advice? I can’t go to him to bitch about him. Micah is in VA and works a lot. I can go to Shelly but I know she’s busy with Ethan and work and her own problems. I’m just rebuilding a friendship now with Charlie. Jason I know is busy and dealing with a lot of drama. Yup 5 people. Well 6, if Romeo got his cell phone back and it was easier to contact him – but he tries nonetheless. I know it’s quality over quantity and I believe that wholeheartedly. However, to be honest, I’m also lonely. Yes I’ll admit that.

Charlie has been telling me I should join some kind of activity to meet people and make friends such as joining a kickball league. I see my Facebook friends post their pics from their kickball leagues and it looks like fun. I’m thinking about joining one that starts next month. Beyond that I don’t know what to do and I hate that I just feel stuck at home with no one really to talk to. Any ideas of what else I could do to get out there and meet people?

I used to think if I ever moved, what would I do without my friends. I thought I’d be lost. I’m still here and I feel lost without them so what’s the difference, I wonder?

/whiny look at me post here.

24Jun

Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match

FILED IN Ecstasy MB Blog-a-thon No Comments

Mommy claims she’s an awesome matchmaker. I’ll admit she’s done a lot. I mean despite Ilana trying to take credit, she did match up Brenda and Tamir…and they’re now working on their 4th child (who I hear is due end of this year sometime…shows how much I know about my own cousin!). There’s others who she hooked up and they lived happily ever after.

I don’t think I’ve inherited this matchmaking gene. Not for the lack of trying!

I tried once matching Charlie and Lidia up. It seemed to go okay until something happened on their date and she called me up telling me about he complained of how much money he spent on on buying her dog some dog treats. Needless to say, that did not end well. I tried setting up Micah and Lidia until she freaked out that he wore mismatched socks with shorts when we went to Six Flags and wouldn’t go on a date with him after that.

Maybe I just shouldn’t be hooking Lidia up with people. That’s okay though; she credits me for getting her together with Steven (her boyfriend). I didn’t do anything though besides go with her to Mike’s party up in Damascus somewhere and then drive her and Steven’s drunk asses to IHOP at 4 AM to meet up with everyone else. Actually I drove her car because she couldn’t drive and then she proceeded to have sex with Steven in the backseat (which from what I hear he doesn’t remember…sadly I do). Either way she credits me and I’ll take it even though I didn’t do anything and I don’t talk to her anymore lol.

I tried hooking Micah up with Tanya. That would have gone well and surprisingly, he would have gone on a second date with her even after the infamous line “Oh you’re an orphan? My father is too.” However, she was not so interested…I think that’s because she was dating Choppy and didn’t say anything.

Then there’s Jenny who I tried setting up with Wesley (I went to middle school with this guy and at the time was quite popular, now he’s just creepy)…that didn’t work out so well as she told me he never grew out of that middle school mentality despite having a daughter now. Somehow not surprised.

Now Charlie is trying once again to get me to find him someone. I wonder what’s the secret to matchmaking to actually get matches to work though? Can someone teach me how to be a successful matchmaker?

,

12Jun

Up the stairs: the station where the act becomes the art of growing up

FILED IN Ecstasy MB Blog-a-thon | Uncategorized 1 Comment

Today’s prompt on EMB is What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think back to being 18?. Apparently it’s Brand New Songs because I’m blaring them right now. I was going to go with I’m going to stay 18 forever as my title. But then I realize, I don’t think I’d want to be 18 again. 17 sure. 19 damn straight I would be as would 20, 21, 22, and 23 lol. 18 not so much. Because when I look back there’s so much I would change about being 18…

18 I think started promisingly enough. I turned 18 the second week of being in college. My roommate and the girls across the hall plus a guy on the third floor got together and made me a card and bought me a stuffed monkey that had a UMBC t-shirt on it (I still have that monkey). It was pretty sweet and I had a lot of hope for being 18.

The first thing and the main thing I associate about being 18 though is dating my ex and I dated him pretty much that whole 18th year on and off. I met my ex 4 days after turning 18. September 6th. Why I remember these things, I don’t know. It was a Saturday night. We hit it off right away and despite my doubts that I was being rushed into a relationship, we started dating the 9th. He was my first serious boyfriend. He was my first serious anything if you get my drift. I probably was stupid as fuck to agree to be in a relationship but I was swept away with the idea of being in one. I mean it was quite romantic to me at the time to have a boyfriend to cuddle with during a hurricane and for our friends to nickname us Willary (a portmanteau of our names – oh the fan fic writer in me giggled at that). However things weren’t as peachy keen as I thought it was.

While he did save my ass in Math 106 and he did become my best friend, he for the most part became one of my few friends I had. I was always the girl who had a lot of people to hang out with and suddenly I had him, Andrew, Charlie, and Laura…and of course Lina, Eva and Shelly but they were at home (or in Eva’s case at George Mason) and that’s it. I talked to other people but I never got around to forming the close relationships I’d previously imagined that I would make when I got to college. I even thought about at one point transferring to the University of Maryland, College Park (I had been accepted for the spring semester) to start over (and I hate the College Park campus!). I should have realized then something was wrong.

I should have realized the first time he cheated on me with Katrina that something was wrong with our relationship.
I should have realized the times he would get pissed at hell at me when I would write in my online diary that something was wrong with our relationship.
I should have realized the time he hacked into my online diary to read my entries that something was wrong with our relationship.
I should have realized all of the times he wanted me to write I love Will in my AIM profile and would get pissed when I would not was a sign something was wrong with our relationship. He figured that meant I didn’t love him or wanted to cheat on him.
I should have realized the times he got pissed at me for writing that I shouldn’t be with him.
I should have realized when he broke up with me for Becky but cheated on Becky with me that I shouldn’t be with him.
I should have realized that his damn computer game addiction meant I shouldn’t be with him.
I should have realized that when he didn’t do a damn thing for me for valentine’s day beyond make me a card online (mind you, that next V-day when he was dating Ryn, he bought her a diamond ring), meant I shouldn’t be with him.
I should have realized that when he went to Michigan to visit an ex (and to this day while I have no confirmation that he cheated on me, I’ve no doubts that he did even if he denied it up and down), meant I shouldn’t be with him.
I should have realized that day he accused me of forcing him to break up with Becky to get back together with me and that he felt forced to be with me (despite me telling him you need to be damn well sure you want to be with me before you ask me out again and despite when he asked me out while on Nyquil induced haze, I told him if he can remember asking me out when he woke up,I’d say yes…and he pounced on me that morning and remembered) should have been a huge sign that he’s a douchebag!

While I am angry still when I think back, I also have to be grateful.

Remember when I said that I never had the close group of friends that I wanted my freshman year…

Well thanks to him and I dating, a lot of events occurred that allowed for me to make them the following school year. Because had I not dated him, I would not met Rachi, Brian, Truc, Austin, Ashley, Ryan, Lexi, Sarah…I may or may not have met Lelia, Stephanie K. Roni, and Rachel and thus going on to create a Jewish sorority. I may or may not have become more active in Hillel. But I know for damn sure had I not dated Will, I would have not met my doofuslove (because had I not met Ashley, I don’t think Jon would have talked to me that fateful night that we met).

So maybe after it’s all said and done, thank you douchebag for my awesome friends and you can keep your wife that no one (including you for the most part because I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re still continuing your cheating ways) wants to be around :)

, ,

11Jun

Why can’t you find a damn prostitute when you’re looking for one?

FILED IN Ecstasy MB Blog-a-thon 3 Comments

I went out after work today with a co-worker/friend of mine for a late lunch since we had a half day of work. It ended up being an amazing time eating BBQ pit beef sandwiches and talking about sex! I mean how can you go wrong with food, friends, and sex? You can’t! So we’re talking and she’s telling me about her new boyfriend who she’s really into but there’s one small issue she’s facing: he’s uncut and she’s not too sure what to do with him – do you treat it any different? If you play with it the wrong way, will it hurt him? As I personally have never had experience with a guy who is uncut, nor have really studied them closely in pictures (I prefer mine Kosher!) I didn’t know how to help her. So what did I do? I turned to my guy friends of course! I sent out a mass text asking if they or anyone they know are uncut (yes, I have the balls to ask this of my guy friends because I am that awesome!). The responses and the conversations over text (and AIM and my conversation with her – plus the two pictures I got to show us what a soft uncut penis looks like compared to a hard uncut penis) that ensued were hilarious!

Her and I talking about who to ask and thinking we should drive back to work and find a prostitute standing around (we have a prostitution problem apparently not far from where I work!) and ask one of them what to do: Why can’t you find a damn prostitute when you’re looking for one???

Our title for our future novel (our version of He’s just not that into you: Love conquers all: even uncut penises … if you know what to do with it!

C (via text):”What about it? Don’t think so hard. It’s exactly the same thing. Does she need some practice!”

C: “And the head appears on its own. We’re not talking about a rolled up carpet here. There’s a reason the say ‘nip’ off the tip. They don’t need a bucket to hold the leftovers. When it gets hard, the skin pulls itself back for the most part. Don’t over think it. Circumcision exists for the same reason as Jewish pork laws: to save nasty hygienically-challenged people from themselves.”

Me to C on his mentioning purple penises (referring to the head): Penises are color coded???
C: What? Do you always do it in the dark? Yes!

M: “LOL well why would she feel like she needs to do anything different? Blow him, jerk him off, lick his balls, ride him like the metro at rush hour!”

After I sent C. a boob pic (I am that awesome!) so he could get hard and show us the difference: “After. Not quite at full attention but the best I can do in a work bathroom with a good friend’s boob.”

Jon on if sending naked pictures is wrong when you’re in a relationship:
“we’re the wrong couple to ask
we support friendly nakedness lmao
that should be a bumper sticker
i support friendly nakedness”

,

TOP